(I copied the quotes from http://web.ukonline.co.uk/jmould/main.htm , as I kept getting errors on the link
'One of
the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that,
before
each tee-shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them
-Oh
my God, what have I just said?'
(U.S. TV
commentator.)
'This is
a really a lovely horse, I once rode her mother.'
(Ted Walsh
- Horse Racing Commentator.)
'We now
have exactly the same situation as we had at
the start of the race, only exactly the opposite.'
(Murray
Walker - Formula 1 motor racing commentator.)
'He's
pulling him off ! The Spanish manager is pulling his captain off !'
(R.T.E.'s
George Hamilton on Spain manager Luis Suarez's substitution of
Butragueno
during their world cup qualifier with Ireland in Seville, 1992.)
'The black
players at this club lend the side a lot of skill and flair,
but you
also need white players in there to balance things up and
give
the team some brains and some common sense.'
(Crystal
Palace chairman Ron Noades, speaking in 1991.)
On the
difficulties of adjusting to playing football and living
in a
foreign country: 'It was like being in a foreign country.'
(Ian Rush
- ex Liverpool and Wales footballer.)
'Bill
Frindal has done a bit of mental arithmetic with a calculator.'
(John
Arlott - cricket commentator.)
'Hodge
scored for Forest after 22 seconds -
totally against the run of play.'
(Peter
Lorenzo - football 'pundit'.)
'We
actually got the winner three minutes from the end but then they equalized.'
(Ian
McNail - footballer.)
'I've
never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.'
(Winston
Bennett.)
'The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical.' (Murray Walker.)
'I owe a
lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.'
(Greg
Norman - golfer.)
'Sure
there have been injuries and deaths in boxing- but none of them serious.'
(Alan
Minter - boxer.)
'The
racecourse is as level as a billiard ball.'
(John
Francombe - jockey.)
'If
history repeats itself, I should think we
can expect the same thing again.'
(Terry
Venables - ex England football team manager.)
'We'll
still be happy if we lose. It's on at the same time as the Beer Festival'
(Noel O'
Mahony, Cork City boss before the game in Munich.)
'I would
not say he (David Ginola) is the best left winger in the Premiership,
but there
are none better.'
(Ron
Atkinson - football pundit.)
'He
dribbles a lot and the opposition don't like it - you can see it all over their
faces.'
(Ron
Atkinson.)
'I never
comment on referees and I'm not going
to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat.'
(Ron
Atkinson.)
'It took a
lot of bottle for Tony (Adams) to own up.'
(Ian
Wright - commenting on his teammate's alcoholism.)
'Ah, isn't
that nice, the wife of the Cambridge president is kissing the cox of the Oxford
crew.'
(Harry
Carpenter - BBC TV Boat Race 1977.)
'Here we
are in the Holy Land of Israel - a Mecca for tourists.'
(David
Vine - BBC commentator.)
'Morcelli
has four fastest 1500-metre times ever. And all those times at 1500 metres.'
(David
Coleman - athletics commentator.)
'Julian
Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field.'
(Metro
Radio.)
' ....and
later we will have action from the men's cockless pairs ...'
(Sue
Barker - sports commentator.)
'Her time
is about 4.33, which she's capable of.'
(David
Coleman.)
Dennis
Pennis (interviewer):
'Have you
ever thought of writing your autobiography ?'
Chris
Eubank (boxer) : 'On what ?'
'Sex is an
anti-climax after that !'
(Grand
National winning jockey Mark Fitzgerald.)
'Well, you
gave the horse a wonderful ride, everybody saw that'
(Desmond
Lynam - (then) BBC commentator.)
'To play
Holland, you have to play the Dutch.'
(Ruud
Gullit - Holland football team manager.)
'Well ,
either side could win it, or it could be a draw.'
(Ron
Atkinson.)
'For those
of you watching in black and white, Spurs
are in the all-yellow strip.'
(John
Motson.)...the all time classic... !!!
'Strangely,
in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air even longer.'
(David
Acfield - footballer.)
'What will
you do when you leave football, Jack
- will you stay in football?'
(Stuart
Hall - Radio 5 live.)
'I'd like
to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona.'
(Mark
Draper - Aston Villa footballer.)
'There
goes Juantorena down the back straight, opening his legs and showing his class.'
(David
Coleman - The Montreal Olympics.)
'And for
those of you who watched the last programme (Fanny
and Johnny Craddock),
I hope all
your doughnuts turn out like Fanny's'
(David
Coleman - at the start of Match of The Day.)
'...and
Ray Illingworth is relieving himself in front of the pavilion.'
(John
Arlott.)
'These
greens are so fast they must bikini wax them.'
(Gary
McCord on the greens at Augusta.)
'Moses
Kiptanui - the 19 year old Kenyan, who turned 20 a few weeks ago.'
(David
Coleman.)
Thanks to Andy Arnold
'If
you'd offered me a 69 at the start this morning I'd have been all over you.'
(Sam Torrance, [Golfer], BBC2)
'The band never actually split up - we just stopped speaking to each other and
went our own separate ways.'
(Boy George, Radio 2)
'Damien Hirst tends to use everyday objects such as a shark in formaldehyde.'
(Fashion Commentator, Radio 4)
'Street hockey is great for kids. It's energetic, competitive, and
skilful. And best of all it keeps them off the street.'
(Radio 1 Newsbeat)
'Do you believe David Trimble will stick to his guns on decommissioning?'
(Interviewer, UTV)
'It was the fastest-ever swim over that distance on American soil.'
(Greg Phillips, Portsmouth News)
'...fears that the balloon may be forced to ditch in the Pacific.
Mr. Branson, however, remains buoyant and hopes to reach America...'
(Radio 4 News)
'Well, you could count them on the fingers of less than one hand...'
(Jack Elder, New Zealand Police Minister)
'And Nakano tries to avoid being passed by his teammate Trulli,
which should in fact be quite easy, because Trulli is going more
slowly than his teammate Nakano.'
(Murray Walker, ITV)
'A fascinating duel between 3 men...'
(David Coleman, Hammer Throw, World Athletics, BBC)
'I'm glad two sides of the cherry have been put forward.'
(Geoff Boycott, Radio 5 Live)
'It has been the German Army's largest peacetime operation since
World War 2.'
(ITN)
'There are the boys, their balls between their legs.'
(Amanda
Redington, GMTV)
"Israeli troops have this morning entered the Arab township of
Hebron, in search of the perpetrators of the recent suicide bomb attacks.'
(CNN News)
'Ian Mackie is here to prove his back injury is behind him.'
(Commentator at Spar Athletics)
'Azinger is wearing an all black outfit: black jumper, blue trousers, white
shoes and a pink 'tea-cosy' hat.'
(Renton Laidlaw)
'The advantage of the rain is, that if you have a quick bike, there's no
advantage.'
(Barry Sheene)
'Her legs are kept tightly together: she's giving nothing away.'
(Gymnastics commentator, BBC1)
Thanks to Simon Telling